It was raining heavily but I ran out anyway.
Depression fell upon me much earlier than i expected, so much so that i couldnt catch it well.
I ran all the way as far as my stamina could bring me, but my stamina couldn't go too far today.
It was far from the end and I stopped.
I collapsed into a bench beside me and started tearing.
And soon, it turned into an outburst of tears.
I thought I could handle the grief in the airport on the day of my departure.
I was wrong.
I can't even handle it now, needless to say the day of departure.
Questions attacked me from the back, so sudden, so painful.
My mind was in a twirl of mess.
People coming up to me offering an umbrella, I rejected the kind offer.
I just needed to be alone for awhile, needed to let out the pain that has welled up in me.
I thought leaving for Australia could let me forget about the problems I have in Singapore, could even let me solve them.
It struck me that more problems happened instead.
After crying for a whole half an hour, I thought it was time to go home.
The rain had not stopped, but i strolled my way back.
I couldn't differentiate my tears from the rain.
It was pouring too heavily.
So many people with umbrellas sheltering themselves walked pass me like I'm a nobody.
Have i turned into someone nobody cared or was it just me thinking to much?
I got home n had a warm shower.
As if so true, the strong blow of the shower seemed to have washed away my pain.
I realised something: pain no longer gave me an orgasm. I've started to hate how it feels to be pain.

farking off~ICE™