still, i have no trust. i still can't trust anybody. is it because of that? because of what happened to me? i myself do not know. if me myself don't even know, what rights have you to tell me the answer? can you imagine the hurt? the hurt in me that seems to never heal? it's been a week. but i'm still myself. still the sad and trust lost self. i may look happier in the outside. you may think i'm over about it and back to my normal self but no. i'm not. this is not the first day you know me. outside i'm happy. but inside i was never. since young. never. all problems have been haunting me. i might be over. but the side effects are showing. everything has it's side effects. everyone faces it. i'm of no exception. the reason i'm always happy on the outside is because i do not want to spoil anyone's day. unless it's to the extreme. i will then break down. infront of you, him, her, they, everybody. can you feel the pain? can you feel the pain in me? no. you can't. just like i can't be in anyone's shoes, no one can be in my shoes. no one will understand. even if you think you do, you do not understand till the roots. no one will. not even my parents nor my close friends. to those whom've consoled, comforted and cheered me up, i thank you. i feel a great sense of gratitude to you guys. but still, the pain is there. ppl say it takes time to heal. maybe not for me. even if it heals, the scar will still be there.

aiya......y the hell m i talking all these shit again...today very hot...buai......