WEEKEND.

Haha don't worry, there won't be pictures torturing you in this post. This weekend was quite...significant in some way. But that's just because of what happened today, not much of yesterday.

Yesterday's Christmas party at Telok Kurau Park was a great success. I could tell the number of people who came down grew. Mummy even managed to get her nails done (thanks, Pao Yin!) and my neighbour came down too!

Today's service was what made me really...broken. Was at the youth service and they had a guest speaker. But before I actually get to the guest speaker, I wanna say the worship today was refreshing. Everyone gathered infront and worshipped with their hearts. First time I experienced that in Christ Methodist Church (CMC).

Anyways. Yep, the guest speaker's message was really impactful, but that's still not my point. My point is, he picked me out of all my other church friends, invited me to the front, and told me everything God told him to tell me. I was still quite stubborn at first because I couldn't believe God picked me out of so many people who were present. I just didn't deserve God's attention, or at least not that amount of attention, since I've never gave Him the right amount of attention He deserves. But as the guest speaker started talking, I understood why. I realised, again, that God is, infact, watching my every step. And that He's covered so many of my faults and sins without asking anything in return and yet I've forsaken Him. I've forsaken him for so long.

He answered so many of my questions and reassured so many of my doubts. And I felt him. I felt him there, watching over me as I lay weak on the floor. He was...bright. Brighter than any light, even brighter and prettier than the Christmas lightings along Orchard Road, like what the guest speaker said during his message.

The moment I got up, I felt broken. Not in a bad way, but in a good way. I was reminded of the sermon Pastor Patrick preached in Zion Praise Harvest (ZPH), about how God will break you before He can actually make you stronger with His help.

At the moment I still feel very broken, very seen-through. Unstable might be the right word. It was like a reminder of all the sins I've committed. I don't know how long I'll take to move on to the next stage but I'm gonna try to be patient and let God maneuver my life. I've said to surrender my life to Him and I'm definitely not gonna take my life back. I'm quite sure it's because I've surrendered my life to Him that He's able to break it for me.

The confidence I grew in myself has been taken away. It was an incorrect from of confidence and I'm gonna plant a different seed of confidence in me with His help. He is going to water this seed with His Words and Messages in different forms and I'll wait for the seed to grow the right way this time.

I hope this is a growing stage for me. I know I've hurt many people before this and I'm truely shamefaced. I can only ask for forgiveness and more patience while I try and continue to learn and go to another level. I hope this is a relearning stage for me. And I hope it'll help bring me to greater heights.

So...after service Audrey drove a few of us down to Different Taste (along Frankel Ave) for lunch. I had beef hor fun. Greater than I expected, honestly. I loved the lime juice. We then headed down to The Coffee Club for coffee, where I had hazelnuttae. Hazelnut coffee. Nice and fragrant.

We slacked around till about 4 plus and I made my own way home before going over to Grandma's place for dinner. Grandma cooked chicken rice! Yum yum =). My uncle (the younger one if you remember) is going to organize a Christmas dinner on the 23rd. I'm gonna go help him and learn a bit of cooking at the same time. Exciting!

I also just got invited to a formal Christmas party, organized by CMC people. Quite excited, actually. I really love formal events =). Ok! Till then!

signing off~DE XIN