Emotions

I was showering and was thinking to myself: I've been blogging about what's happening and it should be time I blog my inner thoughts and feelings. People say you don't blog about your daily life because nobody cares. They go like "who cares?!" when there ARE still people who care about what you do everything. Especially when you're miles away. On a different island.

I've been in Australia for more than two months, close to three. Everyday I learn new things. Like: taking the bus, how to get around the school campus, how to open up and make friends, responsibility, true heart breaks and even badminton.

For the first four weeks of bridging course, I sure did make a lot of friends. I came to Australia with a phobia. A phobia of people backstabbing me like how those Singaporean BOYS do. Things turned out differently. The people here HAD the sense of humour. Even the nasty ones. I was alone, like an alien species thrown into an alien island to my species. Only difference was that I was...ALONE. Despite that, I got accepted from the very first second. They taught me every basic needs of survival in Australia. Which concession card to buy, which bus to take, how long does the ticket expire, what phone line to subcribe, why I should not buy a phone here, where has cheap sales, everything. The barrier I set for myself was somehow useless.

When school officially started, I had twinny. It felt perfect. Like I needed nothing more. It was my turn to teach her everything. From how to take the bus and which phone line to subscribe to. Everything's a cycle. We got a perfect homestay with a family that accepted us immediately. A homestay mother who treated us dearly like true daughters, waking up early in the morning just to prepare food for us to bring to school for lunch, worrying for our basic needs, driving us to grocery stores. A homestay father who knew how to protect us when we needed to withdraw money, feeding me kiwi, expressing his care and concern by asking how we are and how our day was. A homestay brother who's responsible and knows how to bring a smile to our face everyday. What more could we ask for?

The people back in Singapore. They've been asking about me, praying for me. Relatives writing cards, friends tagging on my tagboard or talking to me on msn. I owe you all a great debt of gratitude. Here I am with a great responsibility; to study well and enjoy at the same time.

Talking about "enjoy". Recently took up badminton again as you guys can see. Wasn't too keen at the start until Yuki told me to join badminton club with her. Twinny, Shelina and I then started going to the badminton courth regularly. Now, we go everyday. Through badminton, me made a great deal of friends. Nicholas, Steven, Petrus, Eline, Zi Wei(Jay), Ah Fizz, and so on. Badminton has also made me feel more alive, like I've escaped from the claws of homestay rules. Lucky enough, we were allowed to play for as long as we can in school. As I've said, what more could we ask for when we have such understanding and loving homestay family?

Of all the friends I've made, I've grown very close to a few. Yuki, Shelina, May, Shu Ling, Helena, Nicholas, Jay, Sean...I wouldn't have survived without these guys. I can never survive as a loner. No friends to talk to, no friends to go to class with and worse, no badminton kaki. The barrier is still not gone, though. Everytime I try to step over the barrier, I trip, and fall. The barrier is always there as a reminder, not to go overboard. Play as you wish, but don't get too rowdy.

Australia has, indeed, made me learn independence. Maybe not totally but hey, give an only child a chance to learn her independence alright? I love the life I'm living now. Feels more like life compared to Singapore. No more immature boys around pulling you down, interrupting your route to the so-called "life".

Enough digressing for now. Finally all the emotions are out. Phew!

signing off~RYNETTA