FRIEND?

holy milk - everybody lies says:
i just caled this company to ask something
holy milk - everybody lies says:
then they ask for my name
holy milk - everybody lies says:
then i said.
holy milk - everybody lies says:
de xin
holy milk - everybody lies says:
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

=_=

What's more =_= is that I later found out she did that because SHE WANTED TO HIDE HER IDENTITY! Stupid Nancy.

Nancy came to me last night (this morning, rather) asking me if she's a good friend. It makes me ponder. Really. Not whether she's a good friend (she's been a great one, in all honesty, being there for me, staying by my side with my ups and downs and you know how bad my downs are) but what a good friend actually is.

I told Nancy a good friend need not be one who's good at consoling. A good friend to me is one who would really stick by you despite your circumstances and know when and how to correct your faults. And of course, by saying that, it limits my number of friends.

Nancy's not the first to have asked such a question. The good friend has once asked me that question as well. Frankly speaking, I myself sometimes even doubt I'm that great a friend. More often than not, I can't put my words together very well when talking to people one-on-one. It should be the result of this period of my life where I totally closed myself up and barely talked to people.

I told the good friend that we can only try our best to be the best we can as a friend, pushing ourselves to be better each time. I admit there were times I do realise I'm not being the best I can be and failed to push myself to be that much better. It's not an easy job but that shouldn't be an excuse, should it? Jesus did it. We should be more Christ-like. We as in. Christians.

The Bible says people who have been shown love, love easily. But people who haven't been shown much love, don't love easily. If I want to be an idiot I can easily bring up my past and say, hey, that's true, I wasn't shown much love from friends back then, how much more can I show love to others? BUT if you turn things around, if you don't first love, how can you expect others to love?

Now, now, how about....if you availed yourself so much and yet you were still hurt? Harder to love, hey? Jesus showed so much love but He was still hurt. Physically and emotionally. Job showed so much love but was still ultimately hurt. By Satan, by his friends.

It's a tough world out there, like Adam's said. I'm glad I still have that few friends (I can count them with my two hands, maybe even one, like the good friend, Nancy, Adam, Sherry, just to name a few) who are there for me throughout my ups and downs. Who LISTEN. Who understand. Who knows when and how to give advices. And I really hope I can be at least just as good, hopefully even better.

AND I'm gonna go out there and be the one who first love and not just wait to be loved. It's gonna be hard for those who've hurt me but I'll try when I'm ready.

signing off~DE XIN