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Jon McLaughlin - Beautiful Disaster

She loves her mama's lemonade
And hates the sound that goodbye's make
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her

She swears that there's no difference
Between the lies and compliments
It's all the same if everybody leaves her

And every magazine tells her she's not good enough
The pictures that she sees make her cry

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in-between a beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She's given boys what they want
And tries to act nonchalant
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction

She never stays the same for long
Assuming that she'll get it wrong
Perfect only in her imperfection

She's not a drama queen
She doesn't want to feel this way
Only 17 but tired

She would change everything, for happy ever after
Caught in the in-between a beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She's just the way she is but no one's told her that's okay

She would change everything, everything, just ask her
Caught in the in-between a beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home

She would change everything, for happy ever after
Caught in the in-bewteen a beautiful disaster
She just needs someone to take her home
She just needs someone to take her home

Home. I've been questioning myself where home really is for the past year. I remember the first two years I was very sure Singapore was home. I was very sure I was going to go back to Singapore after I'm done with my studies. But after just this year (2008) that's coming to an end, I was a little shaken, a little lost. Where's home?

Being back in Singapore for a little more than a week, I've found out the true meaning of home in my heart. It's not defined by where I'm born or raised but rather where I can find people whom I love and love me back. People who understand, listen and appreciate. People who accept me for who I am and know how to change me for what's best for me.

It's just coincidentally where I've been born and raised. Singapore.

For the past two days, I realised how blessed I am here back in Singapore, a place I call home. I look at the way my parents treat me, look at how Nancy stands by me and how the people in Christ Methodist Church treat me. It feels different, so different. Mummy kept asking me questions about the people back in Perth. I got so impatient I just went "I dunno la!" Somehow, I don't know how, she understood, and changed the topic.

Just these two days I've been so filled with tears. Not the emo tears but the blessed, touched kind of tears. I really wish I need not go back to Perth. If I could I'd stay here until God calls me to be somewhere else. Mummy asked me when I wanna fly back. I told her I wanna fly back the morning school starts. She knew she had to go back earlier to renew the rent contract but she didn't exactly know how to make me agree to going back earlier. I just don't want to.

I just wanna stay home.

signing off~DE XIN