APOLOGIES.

Ok, ok, I know. I need to blog. And I AM blogging! The picture post will be up soon. I promise! Been really busy this week. And I'm fully booked next week too! Gah.

Anyways, at the mean time, try this out! It'll be put up on the right too. =)

Create your own Friend Test here

Enjoy! =)

signing off~DE XIN

FREMANTLE.

Before coming back to Singapore, Mummy and I went down to Fremantle on Friday 'cos I was dying to bring her to Cicerello's. What's Perth without the best fish and chips??? =D

The sky was overcast =(. But weather never spoils a good plate of fish and chips!

I had a normal grilled fish and chips.

Mummy had grilled garfish and chips.

We had grilled fish and chips because we didn't want to take too oily food prior to our flight back to Singapore. Despite it being grilled, the freshness and fragrance still remained! We were really satisfied at the end of it and left the place round-bellied =D.

BUT THE RAIN WAS SO FREAKING COLD WHEN WE LEFT CICERELLO'S!!!!! I was telling Mummy if she hadn't gone to Perth with me, I'll be feasting on junk, turning into a stick and with this wind, I'll be gone with the wind literally!

We managed to struggle our way to the Fremantle Market. Bought some coffee. Went over to Coles but we couldn't find the coffee Aunt Siew Khim wanted. So we went back.

Went to IGA on the way back 'cos Mummy needed some bread for the next day before the flight. When we got back, it was time for dinner already haha! But we weren't really very hungry so we only fried eggs.

I fried my own squid and cheese omelette! It was GOOD man. But I need to learn how to flip the omelette without tearing it.

Ok. I'm stopping here. Being back in Singapore means lotsa things to do, food to eat! Yesterday alone I had so much already! Wooo!!!!! MORE MORE!

signing off~DE XIN

CAN'T WAIT!

I'm leaving home in half an hour's time! Flight at 1.30am! Touching down at around 6.30am in Singapore! Weeeee!

signing off~DE XIN

FREE!

WOOHOO! It feels so good to be FREE FROM EXAMS and GOING HOME SOON! Been going out and eating like MAD with Mummy for the past two days. ANYWAYS! I've got pictures! Yeah! =D

Mummy and I each have a pot of plant. During normal school days, I would water both plants before I leave for school. Ever since the start of the second study break, Mummy has been the one watering the plants. Hehehe.

Mummy's plant:Not only just looks healthy but...

It has two new baby buds absorbing the beautiful sunlight now!

Whereas MY pot of carnations...

Is withering. =_=. I choose to believe it's not flowering because it's winter now. =)

Last Friday, Faith came over to stay over at Eunice's place. Also to help Eunice settle some housemate problems at the same time. Mummy helped out too.

On Saturday, Faith baked a little something for the people having exams. Uh...except for Mummy. Haha.

Mummy got this white gingerbread man with pink and red hearts! The one I got was blue...and...I can't remember heh. But it was nice! Thanks, Faith! =)

Exams...are over. All three were a bit better than I expected BUT I can't guarantee a pass. No joke here. Continue praying for me k?

Immediately after my CITS1211 Foundations of Computer Science exam, Mummy and I took a walk along Hampden Road. Mainly because Mummy wanted to withdraw money and we wanted to see if the Japanese takeaway restaurant was open. Sadly, it wasn't.

So we walked all the way back to Broadway and Mummy tried Broadway's kebab rolls for the first time! Mummy had the chicken kebab with egg, BBQ sauce and no onions. I had steak kebab with cheese and sweet chilli sauce. YUM! We made a bit of a mess haha but it was a fun mess =).

Post-exam days without shopping just won't be called post-exam days. BUT we didn't immediately start with shopping. We took a trip down to City West. Yep, you Perth people would've guessed it. I went to take my driving license learners test (theory test in other words).

I PASSED! WOO!

But I didn't get out of the place feeling especially elated or what. It felt...normal. Like nothing much happened. Heh.

SO! We next went to the city. On the way to the Singapore Airlines office, we were trying to decide on what to have for lunch. Jaws? Taka? Gloria Jeans? We just coldn't make up our mind! And so we ended up at Miss Maud.

I forgot to bring my camera then so...no pictures =(. But I had a chicken caesar baguette while Mummy had a chicken avocado baguette. We both loved our baguettes! Coffee was good too.

I've hence concluded one thing. Coffee places brewing their own coffee beans normally have better coffees. Like Gloria Jeans for example. It's still my favourite coffee place in Perth.

Then we walked down to the Singapore Airlines office to get our air tickets changed. We're officially flying back on the 24th of June, 1.30am, touching down at around 6.30am on the very same day. (ASK ME OUT ASK ME OUT!!!!!)

Mummy asked a whole load of questions on what could or could not be brought on to the plane in our handcarries. And when Mummy was finally satisfied, we left the place for city centre!

We shopped A LOT. Went to Myer, David Jones, Woolworths and city chemist (to get some glucosamine gel for Grandma). Mainly to buy things back to Singapore for the loved ones. Also bought a frying pan. Some marinating sauces. CHAMPAGNE GLASSES! And I cannot remember what else haha.

Sat down for coffee at Gloria Jeans again. I had my usual flat white with a shot of hazelnut syrup and an apple muffin. Mummy had mocha. And we were too early for our bus (24).

Walked around a bit more and finally made our way to the bus stop and we were still about 15 minutes early lol.

When we got home, we rested for a while. At around 7pm, we finally (and slowly) made our way out to Hampden Road. Where to? TERRAZZA! This time I remembered my camera =).

Mummy had spaghetti marinara. Classic. And she loved it.

I HAD STEAK! In mushroom sauce! I loved their new potatoes as well. YUMMM!

I kept telling Mummy this was the best steak I've ever had because I've never had a medium rare steak before. BECAUSE my parents loved theirs well done and always ordered well done for mine too.

That day was super well spent! =)

Today...I DID remember to bring my camera but...I forgot my memory card =_=. We had breakfast at the Greek cafe again. They didn't have pancakes so Mummy had their french toast while I had raisin toast. As usual, we loved their breakfast.

Took a bus down to Wellington and then a bus down to Ikea. We tried to make the trip to Ikea as short as possible so that we could take another free ride back to the city centre. BUT Ikea didn't have the whiteboard I want =(. I guess I'll have to get Eunice to help out a little here.

Managed to take the free ride back to the city centre (because it's within two hours). Went to Myer 'cos Mummy wanted to check out some bowls. Out of stock. Mummy also checked the price of the slow cookers and bought another set of pyjamas.

Had lunch at Seoul Korean BBQ on top of Woolworths. I had bibimbab, Mummy had beef bulgogi. IT WAS YUM! WOO!!! I love bibimbab!!! =D

We also went to Woolworths and David Jones. Bought more stuff. Mainly the stuffs Aunty Siew Khim wants.

I had another cup of coffee at London Court Cafe (FINALLY!), accompanied by a slice of apple strudel. Mummy didn't have coffee 'cos she wanted to have a good sleep at night hah! I thought their coffe was o-k only. Maybe it's just the atmosphere that makes it special. But their apple strudel was not bad.

Took bus 24 home and GUESS WHAT! I'm officially housemate-less! ARGH been waiting for this day for SO LONG! Mummy did a thorough clean of the toilet and the ex-housemate's room. She took so long I offered to cook dinner for her.

Nothing special la. Instant noodles with fresh prawns, lettuce and eggs. =) She loved it though! =D

Planning to go down to Fremantle for some fish and chips after the locksmith comes down to change the lock of our door. I PROMISE MORE PICTURES! =)

signing off~DE XIN

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey

Got this off the webpage of one of my readers and I thought I should give it a go given the state my brain is in now. Tell me if I should put it up on the right when you're done reading it k?

(Kudos to Szpenia =])

Name: CHIA De Xin
Birthday: 26/12/1989
Birthplace: NUH, Singapore
Current Location: Crawley, WA, Australia
Eye Color: Sometimes dark hazel, sometimes hazel (that's when it switches to daddy's-eye mode =D)
Hair Color: Jet black. Lotsa hair stylist say my hair is VERY black. o_O?
Height: 156cm. Shut up!
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right handed.
Your Heritage: Proud to be a...? SINGAPOREAN!
The Shoes You Wore Today: Havaiianas flip flops (almost everyday).
Your Weakness: Procrastination I guess. =\
Your Fears: Losing faith in God, darkness.
Your Perfect Pizza: ANYTHING WITH LOTSA CHEESE ON TOP (although I rarely touch pizzas these days).
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Make it through both semesters of year 1.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Haha.
Thoughts First Waking Up: What time is it.........?
Your Best Physical Feature: Erm. My eyes? I don't know =D.
Your Bedtime: It's been about 1-2am ever since the start of study break.
Your Most Missed Memory: Daddy fooling around with me =(.
Pepsi or Coke: PEPSI DEFINITELY!
MacDonalds or Burger King: Neither. Ok, BK occassionally.
Single or Group Dates: Depends I guess.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Uh. No difference?
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Cappuccino = coffee, no?
Do you Smoke: Used to.
Do you Swear: Seldom. VERY seldom.
Do you Sing: Not in public, definitely.
Do you Shower Daily: Yep, even when it's freezing in winter.
Have you Been in Love: Yep. Always am in love with God! =) (Ok, I had one ex.)
Do you want to go to College: Been through it.
Do you want to get Married: By the age of 24, please. =)
Do you belive in yourself: Yep. But I believe in God more. Serious! =)
Do you get Motion Sickness: VERY VERY rare. The ride's gotta be really REALLY bumpy for me to get motion sickness.
Do you think you are Attractive: Here goes a cliche. I believe everyone has an attractive side. =)
Are you a Health Freak: I think so. It's quite tiring but it keeps me in good health (I believe).
Do you get along with your Parents: I love them like nuts!
Do you like Thunderstorms: No. Noisy!
Do you play an Instrument: Piano? Ehehe. Don't like playing it, though. Prefer listening to it.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Nope =(. I need my dose of alcohol!
In the past month have you Smoked: Nope. Definitely not.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Nope. Never will.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yeah! Many! With Mummy =).
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yep. If I didn't, I would've gone bonkers with the work load.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Nope. But I had oreo cheesecake. Does that count? =D
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Nope. I WANT JAWS!
In the past month have you been on Stage: Nope =(. I miss performing. =(.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: Nope. I feel like trying, though.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: Nopes.
Ever been Drunk: Never been drunk eh. Wonder what's it like. Ok, no, I don't wanna know.
Ever been called a Tease: I...think...so... Can't remember.
Ever been Beaten up: Nope.
Ever Shoplifted: Nope.
How do you want to Die: Without any struggle/pain.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Always wanted to be a fulltime ballerina. But...parents never supported that idea. So my ambition turned into a financial consultant. AND a baker =).
What country would you most like to Visit: EUROPE, BABY!

In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: No preferance.
Favourite Hair Color: Something not too ridiculous.
Short or Long Hair: Short and neat. =)
Height: Uh. At least half a head taller than me.
Weight: Chubby! =D
Best Clothing Style: Beach?
Number of Drugs I have taken: Never touched illegal ones.
Number of CDs I own: Heh. I lost count of them already.
Number of Piercings: Three.
Number of Tattoos: Zero!
Number of things in my Past I Regret: I've learnt not to regret anything for everything happens for a reason =).

Ahhh. Now my brain feels better. Ok! Back to work!

signing off~DE XIN

ONE MORE!

I'm down with my last exam. TOMORROW!

19/06/2007 Tuesday CITS1211 Foundations of Computer Science 2pm-4.10pm

Please keep me in prayers while I keep you guys in prayers as well! Aaaaargh!!!

**************************************************

Daddy is spoiling me again. =(

I told him I was going to bring a few pairs of jeans back home to alter and he told me not to. Then I said if I don't, the pants will fall off my butt (those size 27 ones really fall off my butt literally) and the whole world will see my butt. Then he told me to buy a new one. Then I told him those with my sizes are freakin' expensive (I think, hehe).

You know what he said?

"I give you S$1000 go buy jeans la! Haha!"

Not funny, Daddy! Jeans alteration costs less than S$20!!! =(

signing off~DE XIN

PICTURES OVERLOAD!

Been feeling a little better. I guess I should give a short update on what's been happening in my life before and after the incident.

During the week of study break, Wei Xian, Mummy and I went to the Greek cafe in Broadway Fair for breakfast on Tuesday.

Wei Xian and I had flat white while Mummy had latte.

All three of us had french toast. Haha!

YUM!

The next day, Wednesday, Mummy and I headed for town together. We went quite early because we wanted to have breakfast in the city. So we went to Cino To Go (I've been dying to go there since very long ago!).

My banana bread =).

Mummy wanted avocado mash on toast but they ran out of avocado. So Mummy changed her order to hazelnut chocolate spread on sourdough toast because I wanted to order that before I changed my mind. BUT they also ran out of hazelnut chocolate spread. HAHA so Mummy ended up with coconut bread. Which left her really satisfied and full. =)

As usual, I had flat white, Mummy had latte.

We then went around city. Can't remember much but I know we went Woolworths because...

Hello headless chicken! Heh. We bought this back for lunch. We did quite a bit of grocery shopping for sure haha. Went back quite early so that I could study for my economics.

This muesli is really good. REALLY. Quite expensive but definitely worth the money. Available in Broadway Fresh. It's the Margaret River one.

Went to Broadway Fair for fun one day and when I was on the way back, guess what I saw!
I've seen two or three rainbows while I'm in Perth but this was the first full rainbow I saw. I've been seeing half rainbows all the while. Ok, I know you can't tell this rainbow is full but it IS. =)

JOAN! It's red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet ok! =D

Got home and I was presented with a really lovely dinner.

Beef goulash. The only reason why Mummy was willing to buy the recipe base for this was because it was on sale HAHA. But the beef was cooked just nice. Mummy ate it with rice while I ate mine with bread. Yumness to the max! Thanks Mummy =) *hugs*.

Last Friday, Mummy went to Subiaco with Wei Xian's Mum and came back with a huge bag of huge croissants.

This is what I meant by huge.

Croissant: I'm gonna EAT YOU.
Green iPod: Nooo! I'm so skinny! I'm no yum!

Ok I should stop. Heh.

Then the weekend went by quite terribly. Had my economics paper. It was...I don't know. Don't wanna think too much about it anymore. You just need to know I didn't finish it and I might not be able to pass it.

That same day, Mummy went out with Wei Xian's Mum again for a movie. Then she went Harbourtown. Bought an oreo cheesecake for me from the Gloria Jeans there.

I think I'm repeating myself. But ya, Gloria Jeans' cheesecakes are the best I've tried so far in Perth. Didn't take any picture of it 'cos I think I was so shakened by the news about Greatgrandma my brain couldn't even function properly.

Sunday to Wednesday has been mugging day in day out. There were also regular calls from home about Greatgrandma's funeral. Survived 5 days of black-white-grey-blue clothes.

Oh ya. Greatgrandma was cremated on Wednesday. And after the cremation, everyone went back to Greatgrandma's house to continue praying. And when they were praying, Mummy's cousin's daughter (Aunty Ah Guan's daughter, Ting Ting) suddenly turned around and went, "Ah Zhor!"

Mummy's another cousin, Aunty Ah Chun, askd Ting Ting what she said and Ting Ting replied, "Ah Zhor come back!"

It literally got my hair standing. Couldn't go to sleep in peace last night because of that. Argh.

Ok back to where I was.

Yesterday Mummy and I went down town again. She wanted to make enquiries about her health insurance card at MediBank. When we were done, we walked over to Fast Eddy's because Mummy wanted to buy their apple pie take away (just because she wanted the container =_=).

Then we went over to Carillon City basement foodcourt for my breakfast and her lunch. I had The Kebab Co.'s chicken kebab while Mummy ate teriyaki beef. The kebab was AWESOME despite the fact that it's 97% fat free. THAT's not the reason why I ate that ok. That was the only kebab store at the food court. Mummy's teriyaki beef wasn't too bad either. I loved their onions. Heh.

We walked around a little. Checked out Target's and Sussan's sales. Also went to Woolworth's for some grocery shopping. Bought quite a bit of stuff heh. And when we were done, we sat down for coffee at the Gloria Jean's outside Woolworth's. I ordered hazelnut flat white and an anzac cookie while Mummy had latte.

We made our way to the bus stop when we finished our coffee and realised we were 30 minutes early for the bus. =_= So I pulled Mummy to this "underground city". Haha okok, it's not an underground city. It's something like a food court with a news agency. We're planning to eat down there the next time we go down town again.

This was how Mummy's apple pie turned out to be after we reached home lol. I think we swung our bags around a little too much =P.

Mummy also bought fresh fish fillets from Woolworths and we baked them. It was SUPERB. I super love just-cooked fish fillets. Don't like them flaky.

Went out again this morning haha. HEY that doesn't mean I haven't been studying ok. I'm just taking a small mini break because my brain's been really fried after two very demanding exams and what's happened at home really made me shatter.

So Mummy and I went to Subiaco (Subi) this morning. We first went to Coles to grab some things that were on discount. Then we went to the food court in the Pavilon market but the Japanese stall Mummy wanted to try wasn't open so we ended up with our original plan; eat in Subi market.

Mummy ate from the Vietnamese stall.

Look at that! Their spring roll and pork pieces were YUM.

I had chicken and mushroom crepe with cheese. Ok, you can't see the filling here.

Pardon the poor picture taken. Should have had more focus on the filling haha. But you can see the mushrooms and the cheese. Chicken was shredded so you can barely see them but they made a really good combination.

I bought some really huge strawberries while Mummy bought eggs. Went over to Subi's Woolworths. Bought a bit more stuff. Heh. Our green bag and cooler bag were both full. AND heavy.

Dinner was...marinated chicken kebab (honey soy) with rice. Not gonna tell you how Mummy and I cooked them! But I loved it. Totally =).

This:

Plus this:

Makes a really good cup of hot chocolate!

LOOK!

These few days my day has never ended without a cup of coffee. Sometimes with breakfast bars (up to three!). I know, those things are to be eaten at the start of the day to keep you energized for the rest of the day but I've been studying so much I needed all these to keep me awake.

Tried hot chocolate for a change today and it acts just as well! But then again, coffee doesn't actually work on me. So maybe it's been the breakfast bars that have been keeping me awake. *shrugs*

Lotsa thanks to those who've been showing lotsa care and concern towards me and Mummy during the really depressing weekend. We're still quite shaken by it but we're definitely handling our emotions quite well at the moment.

Grandma's been much better too. She's going on a holiday with Aunt Siew Keow, her hubby and Samantha tomorrow to Penang. I hope she takes this time to get some fresh air out there and come back all freshened up feeling less depressed.

I hope everyone's been coping well with their exams. If this makes you guys feel better, I've been praying for you guys every night. I'm serious. If you have any special request, do feel free to email me your prayer requests. I'll try to keep e-ve-ry-one in prayer. =)

Keep going! The holidays are near!

signing off~DE XIN

GREATGRANDMA.

I know Daddy told me this a few days back already but I never got the courage (nor time) to blog about it.

Greatgrandma was awake a few times while she was hospitalised and she managed to say a few last words. And she didn't forget me.

Her last words for me were just like what every other student would receive from their passing away elders. She wanted me to concentrate on my studies, do well and make her proud at the end of it.

Greatgrandma was a really nice lady. Although I wasn't as close to her as I was to Grandma, I still loved her. And I knew she loved me.

There was this point of time in my adolescence years where I thought Greatgrandma has already forgotten me. She's old, you see. But her memory has never failed on her.

When her health started to deteriorate early last year, she refused to eat when she was hospitalised. She only ate when either of my uncles cooked for her. But both my uncles were busy and couldn't cook for her the whole time. And so, Mummy gave up.

"You must eat leh. You eat already I bring De Xn come see you when she come back."

Immediately she started eating again.

But then again, ,there's an irony. A few days later, Greatgrandma requested for home-brewed coffee, not the vending machine types. And so the next day Mummy went to the hospital real early with a flask of home-brewed coffee. Daddy had to drive Mummy there, even, in fear of the coffee turning cold.

When Mummy reached, Greatgrandma looked at her and went, "Why you come so early for?!"

And then when I went home last July, Daddy and Mummy brought me to visit Greatgrandma the moment I touched down. Because I loved her so dearly, I gave her two out of the four persimmons I brought home (credits to my previous homestay parents). She was so happy and smiled to the extent where I could see every single wrinkle on her face.

She was clearly getting old. And weak. I just couldn't believe the huge change in Greatgrandma. She wasn't the same Greatgrandma before I left for Australia.

When I came back to Australia, my parents complained that Greatgrandma's always throwing tantrums. But each time my name is mentioned, she calms down.

The worst part was, the doctor predicted that she would leave somewhere late September. That September was the worst September I've ever had. What's worse, I participated in Search For A Star, a performance held by my church.

There was no news on Greatgrandma passing away, though. Which made time feel even slower as I just kept looking forward to the day where I could fly back to Singapore to visit Greatgrandma again.

The last few days I was in Australia, I repeatedly play the song "Home" by Michael Buble. I was missing home so bad. So bad that I played that song over 1000 times in just a few days.

When I finally got back, Greatgrandma looked so much better. She could even walk on her own, even. Not far, but good enough.

She always looked forward to me visiting her. Sometimes so many people visit her and she gets so tired and grumpy. But each time I visit her, she always make the effort to get out of bed and see my face.

I was so touched. So very touched that I couldn't help giving her a hug each time I visit her.

Everything went on smoothly when I'm back in Australia again. Until Mummy and I received the call about Greatgrandma. It was really hard. Really really hard.

I emailed Aunt Siew Khim my examination dates and at the same time asked her to tell Greatgrandma to hang in there and wait for me to go back. I don't know if Aunt Siew Khim managed to pass the message to Greatgrandma but she obviously couldn't wait anymore.

She left.

Since young, I always told myself I would make Greatgrandma happy by getting married early and give birth early so that Greatgrandma can have a great-greatgrandchild. That dream never happened and will never happen anymore.

She was a woman of great kindness and grace. She grew old so quietly and peacefully. She was also once a strong woman, with a big farm to deal with as well. She made dishes that no one could ever copy.

Now that Greatgrandma's gone, I'll miss her even more. I'll miss her smile. Her forehead that's imprinted on mine. Haha, yeah, my high forehead belongs to Greatgrandma. I'll also miss her ngoh hiang. The crispy skin and fragrant inside.

I would want to grow old like how Greatgrandma did. Graciously, peacefully, with a huge family.

Mummy and I were just counting together the other day. She has a total of 10 greatgrandchildren. And I hope I will live to the day where my at least one of my grandchildren gives birth to at least one greatgrandchild for me.

I believe Greatgrandma's safe in God's hands now. Only God is the judge and I trust in His judging. But even so, I do still hope that God will accept Greatgrandma into His Kingdom.

I'll miss Greatgrandma just like how she missed me while I'm in Perth.

I love you, Greatgrandma.

p.s.: Lotsa thanks to Daddy (together with Grandaunt's hubby) for being in charge of the whole funeral. I do hope he gets enough rest.

signing off~DE XIN

PRAYER REQUEST.

I need a miracle. A breakthrough. HUGE miracle. HUGE breakthrough.

Or else I might fail this semester. I'm not joking.

Haven't been doing too well in MATH1010 and ECON1101. Computer science survived with great thanks to my assignment partner but there's still a risk. A huge risk.

13/06/2007 Wednesday (Tomorrow) MATH1010 Calculus and Linear Algebra 2.00pm-5.10pm Physical Recreation Centre
19/06/2007 Tuesday CITS1211 Foundations of Computer Science 2.00pm-4.10pm Wilsmore Lecture Theatre

Please please please keep me in prayers. I honestly do not know how I'm going to pull through this semester.

Also pray for leniency in marking and moderation for my ECON1101 (Microeconomics: Prices and Markets). And for my two other papers mentioned above as well.

Many thanks.

signing off~DE XIN

TEARS.

This is harder than I thought. Much harder.

signing off~DE XIN

SIGH.

It feels weird, VERY weird, now that my normal prayer's been altered. Greatgrandma's normally the start of the list of people I pray for. Now she's been moved to a "special" place in the prayer and Grandma's the start of the list of people I pray for.

It feels weird, very VERY weird now to only have Grandma, Daddy and Mummy left that matter in my life. Other than God, that is. It's like...something's missing in your life.

Something big.

signing off~DE XIN

COLOURS.

De Xin's favourite colour for just this week will be blue, on top of her favourite shades, white and black.

How colourful! More colourful than the rainbow!

*mumble grumble*

I can't wear clothes or carry bags or wear footwear that are of the colour red or yellow. Which also means no green and no pink and no orange and no purple and no brown. Because they all contain red and yellow. And my favourite colours are red and green.

This will last for a week. Till the end of Greatgrandma's funeral. Always pitied the people who had to wear monotonic colours during their relatives' funerals. Now I have to pity my ownself.

I think Mummy needs more comforting than I do. Greatgrandma's Mummy's Grandma afterall. So, please, if you have Mummy's number, give her a call or send her a sweet sms. It will definitely brighten up her day.

If you don't have her number, you can always email my gmail account for her number. Singapore and Australia number alike. Thanks.

signing off~DE XIN

DOUBLE BLOW.

1) I couldn't finish my economics paper.
2) Greatgrandma passed away.

I'm not in the right mind or mood to actually blog right now but I know I just have to pen this down.

Yep, Greatgrandma has left. I can't do much, can I? I'm not gonna scream and wail and ask God to bring her back to life. Not because I don't want to. But because I know it just can't be done.

This is quite tough on me. I just recently surrendered Greatgrandma back into God's hands and she became unstable. I took her back, felt so uneasy and surrendered her back into God's hands once again. Now, God totally took her away from me.

It all happened with an unfinished economics paper. I walked home feeling dejected but after saying millions of prayers, I felt better. When I got home, my eye lids twitched profusely. That has been going on for days, weeks even. But I kept telling myself to stop being so superstitious and trust God. BUT it twitched so much it kept me feeling doubtful. Like something's just gonna happen.

Mummy was out with the good friend's mother since morning and she had not been home since. She called at around 1 plus, asking if I wanted cheesecake. She was at Harbourtown, you see, and Harbourtown's Gloria Jeans had cookies and cream cheesecake. So I said yes and we hung up.

About half an hour later, at exactly 2.31pm (I remember that time because I was just about to check my phone for the time because I was running late), Mummy called again. I thought she was gonna say there were no cheesecakes left. Ha. Ha. But she didn't.

"You leave the house already?"

"No, why?"

"What colour clothes you wearing?"

"Uh, blue, why??"

"No la because...Daddy called just now. Ah Zhor passed away.

I was applying make up at that moment and when I heard the sentence "Ah Zhor passed away", I just froze. Looked at myself in the mirror.

What am I doing?!

Why was I putting on make up just to make myself look prettier when Greatgrandma passed away?!

I was too stunned to do anything and so I just finished up on my foundation (no blush no eyeliner no nothing), packed the stuff I need, messaged the good friend, and left for church.

The good friend hadn't read my message when I reached church. When he read it, he immediately came to my side, apologized and asked if I was ok. I couldn't take it anymore and so I ran to the toilet in tears.

I guess I spent more than 10 minutes in there. Kept telling myself my purpose today was to serve God and not let others serve me because of my sadness. And so I went back to the hall.

The good friend came and sat beside me. Tears still rolled down my cheeks. The good friend pulled (not literally) me out of the hall. We sat in silence while I continued crying. He offered to pray, with his arms around me.

I had my first laughter when a dried leaf fell and hit the good friend's face. Heh. I really thought it was quite funny. We chatted a bit. Talked about his side of family problems. After a good 2o minutes or so, I felt better and the good friend went back to his ministry.

Checked my phone. One miss call. Mummy. Worried, I immediately returned the call (I normally don't return calls when I'm ushering...not even when service hasn't started). Mummy said she was THINKING of coming to church so that Greatgrandma could be prayed for. I told her it's entirely up to her and that if she wanted to she could give me a ring when she's reached.

She came.

Although Mummy was still all laughs and smiles and didn't appear to be crying, I could see from her eyes that she's deep in thoughts. VERY deep in thoughts.

Mummy and I went down during alter call. Many followed behind us. Garry, Junie, Mishi, Debbie and so on. Mishi prayed for us. Pastor Patrick saw what was happening and asked James' mother to come down and pray for us. Pastor Joyce stood by and prayed along. When James' mother was done, Pastor Joyce prayed.

Today was the first time in a very long while I saw Mummy cry so badly. I remember the last time I saw her cry so badly was when I did something that really upset her. Something really foolish.

Junie followed me up to my seat after alter call and asked what happened. I broke down again telling her Greatgrandma passed away. She hugged me real tight and prayed for me again.

After service, I got Pastor Joyce to pray for us once more and Mummy and I walked home. I didn't even stay for debrief. I knew Mummy couldn't wait and I wasn't in the right state either.

On the way back, I told Mummy that if she ever feel like crying, she should just let it out. And that if she needs someone to talk to when I'm busy, she can always call back home or call her friends here in Perth. On top of that, I gave her a peck on the cheek. I hope she's much better now.

Many thanks to those who've been praying for me. Like Joshua Chin, Mishi, the good friend, Aunty Jo, Garry and so on. Me not mentioning your name doesn't mean I've left you out. I still owe you much gratitude.

Much thanks to the good friend and Mishi. They've been the greatest support ever since Greatgrandma got into an unstable condition.

Greatest thanks to Daddy for constantly visiting Greatgrandma, staying by her side at the absence of Mummy and I and updating Mummy and I on Greatgrandma.

There goes my 18th year. No celebration allowed. Which means no birthday songs, no cakes with candles, no cards from people who know what happened. The most I can go is just maybe cakes but with no candles.

So if I refuse to blow out candles on cakes, or if I run away when a birthday song is sang for me, you know why. I hope you guys will understand.

I've cried my eyes well swollen. The last time I cried this badly was during SFAS 2006 when Greatgrandma was expected to pass on. She's struggled this far. All praises to the Lord.

I guess I can't study tonight. Can't gather myself to do so.

People, please, please, please pray for my remaining two exams.

13/06/2007 (Wednesday) will be MATH1010 Calculus and Linear Algebra from 2.00pm till 5.10pm
19/06/2007 (Tuesday) will be CITS1211 Foundations of Computer Science from 2.00pm till 4.10pm

Dinner eaten. Cookies and cream cheesecake. I'm sure it would've tasted better if I ain't in this state. But the fact that the cheesecake can still wake my taste buds up a bit means the cheesecake's a bomb. Gloria Jeans' cheesecakes are the best I've tried so far in Perth.

The last time I lost someone this close would be when I was just barely 14. That wasn't as bad. Because I lost contact with that uncle for years. Whereas I was quite close to Greatgrandma.

Grandma's not in a very good state either. She was crying into the phone when Mummy called back.

Ok I'm getting more random. Random as in I can't link one paragraph to another anymore. I better get off.

signing off~DE XIN

EMOTIONS.

It's been like...a tornado. Maybe not A tornado. But many.

You know how tornadoes have an eye in the middle where everything gets calm and all? And the next thing you know you hit the wall of the tornado again? Yeah. It's been that way for me.

I mentioned how Daddy called to update on Greatgrandma saying she was brought to the hospital for her regular checkup and everything was ok until she complained to the doctor she's been having chest pains and the doctor asked her to stay in the hospital (on top of the blood tranfusion) for further examination.

She did what the doctor said. Blood tranfusion went on smoothly but all of the sudden the doctor reported she wasn't in a stable condition. The doctor notified Aunt Siew Khim, Aunt Siew Khim called Daddy, Daddy called Mummy and Mummy told me.

When Mummy was telling me the news I could tell she was quite shaken by it. The next day I asked if she cried or not and she said she didn't. When she asked the same question on me, I replied, "Ya."

Yesterday felt a bit like hell for Mummy and I. Although we were in the city shopping for our necessities, we were still waiting for her phone to ring or even just for her phone to receive a message. Alas, when we reached home, Daddy sent an sms saying Greatgrandma's better now and she's currently sleeping.

Later that night when I was at Zion Leaders' Meeting (ZLM), Daddy sent another sms explaining Greatgrandma was sleeping because she was on the drugs the doctor gave her and now she's awake and better. She's taking in fluid food through a tube through her nose. I really hope Greatgrandma gets better.

I know I shouldn't totally blame this incident but partly because of this incident, my mood has been up and down. Sometimes I can be back to my normal self, bubbly and all (only on msn), but most of the time I appear quiet and somewhat alone.

I've even been geting upset over minor stuffs around me and I've certainly not been acting in a Godly manner.

During ZLM, we were told to receive our spiritual gifts and talk to people around us what God wants us to tell them. The whole time my mind was flooded with Greatgrandma. I couldn't find anything to say to anyone.

Dorcas came to me. God spoke through her saying I should gain confidence in Him and trust in Him more. Then Garry came. Same thing. Have confidence in God, be stronger and trust in Him more. But one more thing was added. And it was the toughest to accept.

Surrender your all to God.

I know I said I'll surrender Greatgrandma and Mummy into God's hands but the moment I received news saying Greatgrandma isn't in a stable condition, I just took Greatgrandma back from God's hands into mine.

I struggled a bit...ok, not a bit. A hell lot. I struggled a hell lot in the toilet and this voice kept repeating the same phrase.

"Trust the Lord and you'll find peace and everything will fall into place."

It was literally haunting my thoughts. I knew that very instant it was the Holy Spirit. I was still struggling. But at the end of the day, at the end of ZLM, I gave in.

"OK, LORD, I HEAR YOU! I'll surrender Greatgrandma back into your hands. I trust in You. Whatever that's gonna happen, I'll walk hand in hand with Aunt Siew Khim, Aunt Siew Hong and Aunt Siew Keow to bring my family through."

The tears stopped almost immediately. I felt free again. The journey back home in Max's car never felt better.

signing off~DE XIN

OVERLOOKED.

Sometimes we want certains things in our lives so badly that we often overlook things that are much better.

For example, some girls love cute boys and overlook boys with better personalities. Some of us want pretty shoes and overlook comfy shoes. Some of us want pretty laptops and overlook laptops with better functions.

Thanks Mishi! I no longer need the cheesecake recipe book anymore =).

CAKES ANYONE?!

signing off~DE XIN

I WANT THAT WOMEN'S WEEKLY CHEESECAKE RECIPE BOOK!!!!!

But I got no money. =(

signing off~DE XIN

GREATGRANDMA...

Just received a call from home. Greatgrandma's hospitalised again. Nothing serious..but still.

Granduncle brought her to the hospital for her checkup, as per normal. Everything was ok until Greatgrandma complained to the doctor she's been having chest pains. Doctor advised her to stay in the hospital for further examination.

Mummy asked me to pray for her. The moment Mummy made that request, correct me if I'm wrong but I had this strong feeling good news is on it's way. I don't know.

Lord, may Your will be done upon Greatgrandma and Mummy. I surrender these two very important people into Your hands. I pray for miracles to happen. In Jesus name, Amen.

Went over to Mishi's house just this Friday to help her with the salads she was going to prepare for combined cell. And she passed me this book:
"The Confident Woman - Start Today Living Boldly and Without Fear" by Joyce Meyer. Thanks, spiritual mommy =D. Will start reading it soon.

Combined cell was...ok.

Wanted to go to the Greek cafe for breakfast yesterday morning but it was close due to the long weekend holiday. Ended up eating at Ned's.

Service was actually very good although there were some hiccups and the waiter wanted to refund me my money. I refused. Wouldn't want him to face the boss at the end of the day explaining things that didn't happen at his fault.

The first picture above was Wei Xian's apple and blackcurrant pudding. I thought it was a bit sweet. Wei Xian liked it. Mummy had banana bread. I wanted toast with peanut butter, banana and honey. But there was no peanut butter.

Afternoon service went on as usual. Guest speaker was good. Still no one noticed. Noticed what I'm not gonna say.

Woke up this morning at 9am just to put some marinated pork ribs into the oven. Went back to sleep again till it was noon. Woke up just in time for the ribs.
After eating them, I would say that 15 minutes of sleep sacrificed was well worth it. Plus the fingers of mine that got frozen while marinating the ribs yesterday afternoon.

Nope, not revealing the recipe nor the time taken to cook the ribs. Nope, it ain't 3 hours. =)

Service today was good. Glad I sacrificed my study time for it. Pastor Josh Moyo was really really really really good. Didn't go down during alter call. Not that I want to be saved (I've been saved) but for prayer. I thought there'd be others who'd need prayers more than I do.

Didn't join the people for dinner. Still, no one noticed anything.

There have been bees buzzing around my apartment for the past four months ever since I moved in. But lately they've been getting really slooow.

So slow I could even take this picture. Or even stomp on them while they're on the ground. Bees ain't my friends just like spiders ain't Garfield's friends.

=)

signing off~DE XIN

DILEMNA!

PEOPLE!!!!! The newsagency near my house (at Broadway Fair) has only one last Women's Weekly Cheesecakes recipe book! And it costs A$24.95!!! I don't know if I should get it 'cos I'm dead broke and I don't want to continue eating into my next semester's pocket money!!!

HOW?!?!?!?!?!

signing off~DE XIN