TrusT

I know it's pretty late now (or pretty early in actual fact for today) but I still find a need to blog NOW.

What happened for the past week hadn't been very good. I may have said there's a conclusion to it but really there isn't. Not even till now. The problem may have been caused by anyone. Me or her. But the expansion of the problem is definitely caused by the abusing of trust among friends.

While I thought I had some really close and trustful friends, I was proven wrong, the hard way. The only reason why I only told some of my close friends my problems was because I trusted them and I only planned to confront Annsley when THE TIME IS RIGHT. The biggest problem was, ONE friend leaked my problem.

Can you just imagine? Put yourself in a scenerio where you're really really crying till your lungs were gonna burst (if you find no link, just try to imagine). You're surrounded by your friends and you only chose some to talk to. And one of the "some" failed you.

Whatever it is, I've got something for YOU to do. If you happen to be the one who leaked my problems, or the one who added more juice and spice to it and passed it on, READ. I've really got something for you to do. Let's say the person who told you about my problems was friend A (that should not be me). Go ask friend A who told him/her about my problems. If friend A said I was the one who told him/her the problem, ask him/her if it's REALLY true. If friend A said so-and-so (let's call him friend B) told him/her, ask him/her to ask friend B who was the one who said it. So on and so forth until you get the ACTUAL information.

It really pisses me off when the trust is being abused. True, reality is cruel. The world out there is cruel. But can you really imagine? Your inner most feelings being leaked out? Spoiling all your plans? What have you learnt from ZPH or 40 days community? To trust is to love. I chose to love these few particular people more and yet they abused the love (trust). What have you learnt? Gossiping is a sin. What have you been DOING? Gossiping. What's your purpose in attending cell? What's your purpose in attending church services?

I've been thinking about this whole problem every minute every second. Even when I was watching world cup (yes I just got home from Johnny's house after watching world cup with a bunch of boys). It WAS my fault for this problem. And, repeating, it was one of my closest friend's fault for blowing up this problem.

"The trust has been abused, badly. Don't every try." This had been on my nick for a few days. He/she's gotta get my point. I've forgiven him/her, I understand his/her actions. But has he/she repented?

Lord Father I pray that You help us all in a way that each of us will learn from each of our mistakes. Be it abusing trust, be it acting selfishly or be it not learning how to confront. Lord Father may You forgive our sins and help us up from our fall. Lord Father it hasn't been a good week for some of us. Our exams are coming. Lord Father I pray that You bless us in a way that all of us can still cope with our lives no matter how bad our lives can be. We're listening, Lord Father, we're listening. May You speak to us in any way You like. Use us, Lord Father, in whatever way You want to. In Jesus' most precious name we pray, amen.

signing off~RYNETTA