below will be the letter i wrote to my parents. if they are actually my parents.

have you guys ever wondered how i felt? in this world? have both of you even wondered the stress i have gone through? werent you guys the one who taught me to soak the dishes before i wash them so that it would be easier to wash? what happened? why did you guys go back on you words and scold me for doing so? if you guys scolded me for not washing the dishes, i wouldnt mid. but the problem was that you guys scolded me for soaking the dishes! this morning daddy scolded me for not throwing away my rubbish. that, i know, is me at fault. so i threw them. but i really didnt see why daddy had to kick the bin and throw his temper around. weren't you guys the one who taught me to control my temper? i did. i washed the dishes n threw my rubbish without a noise. but you guys were the one who lost your temper this time round. i went to tuition as per normal yesterday. nodoby realised i was in pain n in agony except for one person. my ng. he told me life was never easy and we are the ones who choose our paths in life. i told him i didnt choose to have such a difficult n bumpy path in life. i even ask him will there be a day whereby God stops punishing us. i didnt tell him what was the problem. i didnt want to. but he forced it out of me n i told him it was just a family problem. he told me never to blame parents because every parent have a reason in what they do. he told me thaat if you guys were to nag at me again, i should shout 'shutup'. but i did not. i dont want to. because i know ever parents should get their mutual, basic respect. after what happened last year, i thought i could bring myself to loving you guys like never before. but now that you guys are scolding me for what you taught me, i really do not know whether or not to love or hat you. i do not know whether or not to trust you guys. but if i dont, who can i love or trust in this whole world? i lost my favourite relatice to heart attack. i lost uncle. yes. daddy's second brother. he was my childhood playmate and you guys know it. until now, its nearly two years since his death. but i still miss him. i even blame him for breaking his promise because he promised to teach me bowling but he never did. not even in my dreams. i even blame him for leaving me behind in this world to suffer alone. what ever you guys do to me i always scream back. but i still loved you. i still clled you guys 'daddy' and 'mummy'. but now that i dont even know whether or not to trust you guys, i dont know whether or not to love or hate you, i dunno whether or not to call you 'daddy' and 'mummy' either. i feel lost now. i dunno who to trust or who to love. if this is the type of life God wanted me to have, i confess i dont want a life. i'd rather remain dead in another world. and never go through these sufferings. but now that i am here i'll prove God wrong. and i'll prove you guys wrong. i will not give up so earily again. i will fight to the end. till the day i lose control over myself.