......i spent TWO WHOLE HOURS trying to understand one two-sided shit i mean sheet of paper...social studies...now having mental block already...very tired...first time i so hardworking xia...lol...sian diao...someone talk to me on msn......

hey hey...today woke up at 8...moma force me out of bed one...i dun want to go for tution lo...eng CT over alrd...went to buy coffee for daiyu...then tution...then break...then tution...as in continue...aiya nothing much la...dun feel like going for ballet today...feel like studying...but if i dun go...exam also will die...jing tui liang nan...zhou you bu yi...woah kao...my chinese improve...hehx...i go study social studies liao...although i know i'm sure gonna flunk it no matter how hard i study for it...

ballet ar...haha...i was showing my fwenz my plaster...told them i cut myself...then sms chester...okok...MISTER chester the whole time bout it...he also tell me go counsilling...thk i'm gonna run away from home soon xia...but he's quite good at comforting la...although not as good as mdm rose...like d-uh...coz he can't possibly hug me...then when lesson ending i took out my plaster and showed amanda and MISTER chester my cuts...lol...MISTER...kk...mr chester gave a disgusted look...lol...farnie xia...

FUCK!!!!! chinese test got so many not in syllubas...or syllabus or wadeva shit...eng first la...quite difficult also...GOT ANT ON MY HAND!!!!! so cuuuuuute!!! PIAK! dead...kk...then straight after chinese test mdm rose came to my class and find me...she talk to me outside classroom...she comforts ppl very well...cried infront of her...woah...she hug me twice lehx...mdm rose, i will not make u disappointed...mdm rose = my guardian angel...then i went to layer my hair...then daddy ar...just coz of one stupid fucking magazine went around whole singapore to find it...kao...k la...not whole singapore la...from people's park to east coast road to siglap to kembangan...fuck la...i damn tired already he still go here and there...now...hai...feel better ba......

...left arm damn pain xia...made 4 cuts in sch...2 successful and 2 unsuccessful...alot of ppl see then shock...and those ppl who supposedly never cared for me suddenly so caring...cb...then stanley over there nag and nag and nag...he did something tt made me very shocked...until now still bit shocked...then tution...daryl and tt something yong guy saw me cutting myself also very shocked...then i told tt something yong guy my problems...kao lo...i'm actually telling a total stranger my problems...then i want scissors anita dun give me...i tell them help me take they dun help me...fuck la...at home got penknife lehx...stupid toot...then myren saw my cut also shock then keep saying i siao...now at home...wrist still damn pain...but found a small penknife...woohoo...my left arm full of art...heyhey!!!

today michelle wong never come again...i have this feeling she is avoiding my class...i mean OUR class 3 Respect '04...then stupid mr chung came in and relief...i was munching cheese bread in my mouth and was totally engrossed in my geog homework then he suddenly appear beside me and ask me "ni zhui li han zhe shen me?!" i got a shock of my life xia...kao...then chem...mrs leong...hai...sobx...she going le...then english...that Chan Choo who has 10 chihuahuas stuffed in each side of her butt never come...stupid mr chung relief again...k la...admit la...he quite nice...love to suan him...hehx...oops! it's insinuate him not suan haha...then all the until after school...finally can walk with zhi yin (lao po) to the bus stop le...but diff bus stop and diff bus...fuck...kk...then at tution...me and daryl...haha...ok le la...friends again...so me him and tom (again) had fun AGAIN...then i went down to buy pressies for mrs leong and zhi yin (lao po)...when crossing over to parkway, i saw my right side no car...then i just walk straight...left side got...tt car somemore very veRY VERY fast...but i continued walking hoping the car would kill me...but guess wad...red light...RED LIGHT...fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...the sound of the brake damn loud xia...ppl stare at me in shock...stare wad stare la...never see ppl cross road before meh...kao bei...hai...2nd unsuccessful attempt of suicide...then went to buy then go back then tution...hai...other than the unsuccessful suicidal thingy nothing much happened...FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my chinese idiom spelling got 95/100!!!!!!!!!!!!! if not careless can get full marks lo!!!!! kao bei...mrs leong going le...sobx...will miss her lotx xia...i'm gonna buy a present for her...then a maths dunno wad cock mr kwek talking bout...then haiya today nothing much happen in school la...after school i accompany wei feng and say chong stay back after sch in fish tank do their chinese homework...notti notti...then huan yuet do tt chinese idiom spelling...then alan detention coz yesterday he late for sch...then finally at 5++ wei feng finish his work...then say chong go for band then me and wei feng and alan go out together...then after tt alan suddenly disappear to the bustop...then wei feng buy cup noodle and eat on the bus...he take...31 i think...i went to the other bus stop take 12...then go home le...sian ji pua la today...slept throughout the whole physics lesson...

today...hai...started out mood okok de...then chinese spelling...think can can la...e maths test...maybe just pass...or even fail by a bit...it was damn difficult lo...fucking shamila...then...hai...I WANT TO DROP A MATHS!!!!! damn difficult xia...then at tution...started ok...me and tom had alot of fun...didn't care much bout daryl...although the fun was also with daryl...then tom went off...i was trying to continue the fun so i acted normal and talked to daryl...then he la...say : "i got talk to u meh?!"...FUCK LA! dun tok then dun tok la! fucking asshole...chee bye la! think u shuai meh? mrs anthony ng said tt just for the sake of saying it lo...look at ur fucking image in the mirror...dun be surprised if u got night mare...FUCK OFF!!!...then i dunno y i suddenly feel very very VERY down...i went to staircase...stepped on tt 'balcony' thingy waiting for it to give way so i would fall then i will end this life...then adeline saw me then pull me back...hai...then she went away...then i sat down on the staircase and started crying...then i cried from bout...5.15 or 5.30 or so...then i went to put my bag in...then fiona went to talk to me...but i dao her then she pull my bag...i was already very du lan...then i shouted at her "LET GO LA!!!"...then i wanted to go staircase...saw myren...then i ignore him coz i dun wun him to see me crying...then he call me dao...but i still ignore...i went to staircase...he went into the counter then stupid anita (admin) went to tell him i'm at the staircase...then he went there and found me...then i kept crying and crying and crying...it's like...the first time i cry out of school in public...myren saw...which means this is also the first time myren saw me crying...myren asked me wad happened and asked me if i ok notx...i also ignored...i dun want him to feel sad for me...then tution start le...but i still follow fiona go and buy her dinner...then go into physics lesson...kevin said he had a bet with jun han on who will get dorcia's number first...i ofcoz want to get money la...so i helped...then i will get $25 and kevin will get $25 also...then after lesson got dorcia's number and gave kevin...SET!!! $25!!! then down the lift...i wanted to say bye bye to myren...now he dao me...kao...sorry la myren...hai...life sux...

today...hai...woke up no headache...then chinese spelling...last minute learn one...should be can just pass la...then halfway through PE they go and arrange emergency exercise...knn...cannot arrange during social studies mehx? mrs michelle wong neva come...3 periods there waste time...then i headache so i sleep then tt bloody relief teacher wake me up...knn la...headache lo...cb...then after school go tution...tt bloody daryl pissed me off again...myren, he's the sec 4 bustard who pissed me off...then during e maths tution me and adeline and joshua keep suaning ashley...LOL...toking bout adeline...sigh...i have this feeling tt everyone's leaving me...including adeline lorx...hai...life sux...myren...i want to step on tt thing at the staircase...then the thing give way...then i fall...then i die...then no more sorrows...then yay fullstop...

woah ha...today woke up with a HUGE headache...i guess...then at ballet...sux la...kk...i have to admit that everytime it comes to sunday and miss chew teaches us, i hate it...i have this feeling she's not experienced enough like mrs skipp to teach...i prefer mrs skipp's teaching...she teach like she emphasises on something and teaches everything thouroghly...but miss chew just gets u too practise over and over and over again when u dun even noe ur mistake tt well and u won't do it right and u have to do it over and over and over again, AGAIN...then when after ballet i got home i told my mum i got headache...i told her is coz of tt damn t-shirt...k...it's just an ordinary shirt tt i where at home but my dad said i had to bring it to temple (yesterday) and then when over there when it's my turn tt person talk and talk and talk and talk to the...the...the...buddha god i think...and by the time she's finished with it the shirt absorbed the smoke smell already or maybe even the smoke itself lo...then to make things worse they chop one buddhist chop there...and it smelt even worse...then my stupid moma say it's coz my contact lenses...i was like HUH?!?!?! i mean it's like wad shit la...if it's really my contact lenses then wouldn't i get headache PRACTICALLY EVERYDAY??? i dun lo...stupid la...myren just called me...i complained to him bout my headache and my ballet cher...kao...blood rush my head haha...u arh...myren arh...dun u dare pon physics tution on tuesday horx...if not i sabo u again...and u better not play truant in sch...if not i will REALLY play truant with u...n u arh...if u really dun quit then i REALLY dun quit also...knn...i swear not to step into any temple ever again once i grow up and gain my freedom...have to wear tt damn t-shirt to sleep for THREE FUCKING LONG DAYS...tomorrow and tuesday sure got headache one...myren don't see me dance la...very ma lu leh...u accompany me on my ballet exam tt day can liao...hehx...

kao...yesterday daddy took away my computer plugs so i cannot use the computers...too bad...i found them...hehx...yesterday i supposed to wake up at 10am...then go temple at 11...then stupid mummy woke me up at 9 then i thought it was 10 then i bathe and rush here rush there in the end when i was ready it was onli 10...knn...then had to wait all the way until 10.30 then daddy ready then can go temple...mummy not going coz not her turn yet or something like that...then i went...so many ppl there...had to line up...the smoke from the joss stick...gave me headache xia...made me so giddy...then after that damn whole thing finally finished, i went home...i immediately bathed and changed...AGAIN...then i reallized i was damn early...then i remembered myren wanted me to teach him maths...so we met at joo chiat cc...then went to an indian coffeeshop...then i taught him his e maths...coz i told him not to ask me bout a maths coz i suck at tt too...:P...then we went roxy...then he bought two ear rings...one silver with black the other silver with red...then he looked at the tattoos...as i said...i will not be surprised if he actually has a REAL tattoo one day...lol...then i took 16 back to joo chiat cc again...then ballet...not tt bad la...juz bit tiring...thk coz of studies...then bathed AGAIN and slept at...11.30? around there...then today woke up at 1 PM...hehx...pro horx...:P...now i'm like totally ready for my tap dance and ballet...just tt...haven't pack my bag...OH FUCK!!! i haven't do homework...kk...i go do liao...bye...

today...kao...tt idiot timothy went to pull my hair just coz i took his phone for fun...i saw wad...jane or something like tt...all her msgs worx...tim...u watch out...haha...then at tution...hai...myren...dun like tt la...u make me damn worried u noe...pls...if u quit then i also quit...k??? set! although quite impossible but i will make it a promise...if u dun quit then i also will not quit...i'm serious...u dun slack so much la...no matter how much problems u have it shouldn't affect ur studies...stop doing wad u're doing now...i'm serious...really serious...if u're gonna continue to do wad u're doing now i'll do with you...and kevin and junhan arh...chao irritating lorx...wad's wrong with playing badminton with myren on valentine's day??? not as if he likes me or i like him...we're just playing as friends wad...kao...cb...ni men liang ge gen wo ji zhu...

today school half day onli...but beli sian...today was the very very very first time mrs michelle wong smiled and had fun teaching us...woah...k la...have to admit she's not tt bad after all...:P...then after school i was supposed to go to parkway wif chessia and irvin and aloicious...but they pang seh me...all coz of mr kwek wei hong la...let us go late...then chessia thought i not going anymore then pang seh me...kao...then i had to wait from 11am all the way to 12++ for zhi yin...then go toa payoh together for the cross country at macritchie...then when race started horx...mrs michelle wong came in first lo!!! kao!!! peifu peifu...then Mr. Yue second...bleh poooiii!!! he run like sissy lo...his butt already shaking like siao when he walk...he run...woahahaha!!! dun wun to say liao...then my fav teacher mrs leong came in third! woohoo!!! u rox dude! toking bout her...she leaving next friday...sigh...she resign...to accompany her hubby work overseas...just like Wu Mew Yeen...miss her...and i'm gonna miss mrs leong real bad...the sec 1s run damn fast...bout...15 minutes ++ onli lorx...kao...kee siao eh...then when my batch's turn to run, my whole class slack and walk...haha...the boys even slower lorx...they started out first but they purposely dun run...even walk back a few steps lorx...lmao...i was the...___th...dun wunna say out...haha...but also on purpose la...hehx...then me zhiyin joel and szeyan went home together...very tired...then on the way back after tt damn loooong MRT ride eden sent me home...sho happy! eden u owe me a kiss and a hug for veeeeeeery loooooong liao...damn tired...wunna sleep alrd...

nothing much really happened today lar...CIP sux lo...haha...i have this feeling tt christine and karen is avoiding me...hai...not much friends now...sigh...life sux...i've only 2 to 3 true friends now...n tt's Zhi Yin, Myren and my dear Chessia who also has almost the same problems as me...sigh...life sux...

today during chinese reading horx...i never bring my book down...then tt huang lao shi walked passed me twice lehx...the second time talked to me somemore...and she never catch me lorhx...she cock eye xia...save my $1...phew...my physics test got 18/25!!! could have got 22/25 lorhx! careless again...but at least improved...then chinese test...67/100...improved also...hehx...so quite happy la...then at tution...fiona told me she got hit by a guy named martin in her school (anderson sec)...LOOOOOOOONG story la...dun wunna say it out...i remember can liaoz...if you want to know then ask me through msn...then tt myren never come for tution...YOU OWE ME MY HOOCH!!! then bit fucked up...coz i was really tired...as in stressed...studies...then daryl made me du lan...daryl you prepare to die...bad mood today la...ppl say i changed into a total diff person...ofcoz la...i not slacking anymore...i study so hard (not as hard as myren ofcoz)...then...hai...stressed lorhx...so...changed into bit vulgar and rude lorhx...tt's the nature of me...so live to it and get used to it...