As I grudgingly sat in the car that was on the way to the airport, many others were grudgingly making their way to work.

As I grudgingly checked my luggages in, many others were grudgingly singing their school songs.

As I grudgingly walked into the departure hall, many others were grudgingly sitting down in their respective seats, forecasting what they'd be expected to do at work/school.

It's more than a week since I properly blogged. It sucks, doesn't it. No proper post, no proper me. The moment I touched down, I was screaming all over on the inside, "I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!!!!!!"

No more doing nothing with Nancy. No more CMC, no more Y2K. No more movies every Thursday with Elena and Nelson. No more going out damn late into the night/morning with Sing Chang and sometimes the rest like Eng Kwan, Jacob, blahblahblah. No more, no more.

I was lost. Very lost. Still am. It may only be 5 months but it's really scary. The mother may be here but she'll be gone in 2 weeks. It's the 4th year but it seems the scariest. I've never felt so attached to Singapore. Never felt so special.

The urge to cry has been almost every night. Sucks to be alone, hey. Can only patiently hope and wait for someone to come for just a while to spend some time with me.