GET UP, GO AGAIN

Was just watching So You Think You Can Dance [Australia] Season 2 Episode 7 and I saw how a dancer injured himself while doing a very risky move with his partner. His dance had to be altered as a result but he and his partner still performed the dance so absolutely well. At the end of it, one of the judges (Bonnie, I think??) mentioned, "This is what dance is all about. Dancers get injuries. They get up. They go again."

The moment I heard that, I thought to myself, "Geez, how true, hey."

A little more than 6 months ago, while trying to put together steps with a few other dancers/friends for the dance performance for Search For A Star '09, I jumped and landed the very, VERY, wrong way. Ankle literally went 90 degrees and it wasn't the first time my ankle went that way. It had happened to me before once when I was in high school. That, however, was not anywhere near the pain I experienced last year.

The pain was SO excruciating I couldn't get my head together to know how to respond to what happened. All I did was just sit on the ground for a good 5 minutes or so (maybe even longer), with my friends frantically coming all over me, asking if I was ok. A physiotherapist friend had to use a wrap on my ankle and I couldn't dance anymore that day. For the next few days I was limping everywhere I went and it was the WORST sprain I had ever have in my whole entire history of dancing AND spraining.

I visited a pharmacist who told me it would be ideal for me to be on crutches and not dance for a few weeks but Search For A Star '09 was only around the corner. I went against her advices and took nurofen as often as I could and danced my way through. No doubt, my performance was affected but I still wanted to dance 'cos that was all that I can ever do AND enjoy.

A fear was still in me for the next few months as my ankle never really healed. I couldn't put much pressure on it, fearing I might feel the pain OR lose my balance. The pain/injury lasted all the way till my trip to Shanghai with Nancy. When I got back to Singapore I decided I had to do something about it. I had my ankle scanned and visited a few specialists (bone specialist, sports specialist, physiotherapist).

Oh by the way, the x-ray showed a small chip in a minor bone in my ankle.

The specialists and physiotherapist were all very optimistic and supportive of my dreams as a dancer. They said they've seen LOADS of sportsmen with the exact same injury and still going strong in whatever they aspire to do. They also assured me that I wouldn't have any problems with that either.

If you ask me what if I could never dance again, I can tell you, it's almost like the end of the world for me. It's not a secret now that my academics aren't going very smooth (even up till now when it's my last semester unofficially and I've tried so hard but I still feel like I'm lagging behind).

I guess I can only thank God for all that He's blessed me with. The strength to dance despite such an injury and the offer into LASALLE. I could never ask for anything better. He knows what's best for me and He gives me strength in my weakness. See? Such a cliche "He gives us strength in our weakness" can be put into this context!

Dance IS really all that I think of. There are many times where I face problems in life and I almost always can never find the strength to over come them if not for God. Dance, however, gives me the strength in everything. Not saying I depend on myself in dance but God planted that talent in me and I do not want to put it to waste. Not even for a minute.

Talking about strength, there was one point last year where I thought I just couldn't go on anymore. Uni, "friends", injury, life. I called home every night, crying into the phone, right at my parents. They didn't know what to do with me either because they felt so hurt that I was going through so much. But, unexpectedly, Daddy messaged me on MSN one morning telling me not to give up just because of little set backs, be brave and settle whatever problems I had. He reminded me of how I fell and injured myself during dance but still managed to perform on stage.

Daddy's encouragement has been so uplifting all these years. You can never imagine unless you feel it for yourself. He's always been the one behind the scenes supporting me all the way. Every performances I had, he made sure he was there at the back of the stage when I had a break or when I was done so that I could run to him and hug him and tell him how awesome it was.

God has really really blessed me with so much in dance I just can't find any better words to thank Him. So many opportunities, loving teachers who nurtured me, supportive parents who were there for me in every area of my dancing life. I just only have one choice.

Get up, and dance again.

signing off~DE XIN