LATELY..

Ok, enough emo-ing. Life hasn't been very easy on me for the past week or two. Or three. Three auditions, helping out with my acting seniors' rehearsals and exams coming up.

Have already had a few major break downs within these two weeks. And also days where I literally come home, go straight up to my room, dump everything on the floor without bothering to pack them nicely and just collapse into my bed crying. How did I manage to let what people say about me affect me? What happened to just trying the best I can and not caring about untrue and nonconstructive things people have to say?

Audition for dance is over, actually. Ever since that audition (last Tuesday) my body has yet to stop aching/feeling sore. My inner thighs, especially. Just when they were getting slightly better after the audition, I over-stretched them again while doing my grand jete. Bravo.

Cloud 9 rehearsals have started. Every weekday except Tuesdays I'll be in school till 7 plus in the evening. Mainly helping the seniors if they forget their lines but occasionally doing stuff like, holding the door open so that they can literally zoom off stage haha. OH and costume searching was fun. No, watching them try on the costume was fun-er. Especially Kevin and Chad cross dressing..oooohh it can't get any funnier. For now Chad has this corset thingy and his moobs look bigger than my boobs.

I'm supposed to help out in my dance seniors' dance shows as Front of House and Assistant Stage Managers but I REALLY CAN'T. I'm so packed with stuff I don't have time to practise/revise for my exams! My audition preparation is not even up to standard yet. Harris!!!

I guess this is the life of a performing artist huh. Actually, I think what I'm going through is just peanuts as compared to what professional performing artists are actually going through out there. So I guess. I gotta just suck it up and draw strength from God and make it through somehow! I know God's with me, right, God? :)

People ask me why I let the whole world know about my life. I guess I just need somewhere to rant? Why not in private? Hmm. 'Cos I'm proud of my life? I'm proud being a performing artist in the making, I'm proud of being God's child/princess/instrument. And people should also know the life of a performing artist AND a Christian ain't exactly that smooth sailing.

Even people in First Class seats have to go through the same turbulence as those in economy class, no?

I wonder what he thinks of me. Or rather, does he even think about me?

signing off~DE XIN

INSECURITY

Was listening to Bette Midler's The Rose while I was in bus 14 on my way home.

That same one particular line keeps repeating in my head.

Non-stop.

"That love is for the lucky and the strong."

When? When did I become this insecure? What happened to the old me where I so daringly fell in love with just anyone that has interesting personalities and catches my eye?

What's with his fear inside of me? When my heart's been broken too many times that maybe it's about time I got used to it?

But then again. Like what Kelly Clarkson sang about.

"My heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with."

signing off~DE XIN

PIANO? NAH, DANCE.

I recently got scores for Clair de Lune from Jia Rong ('cos I was supposed to print for him but i printed one for myself too :P) and I decided to give it a try today at the piano at home. I tried for less than one quarter of the song and walked away.

Daddy: "Huh? Liddat only ah? Dong dong a bit then no more?"
Me: "That's why I'm not learning piano. I'm doing dance."

=P

signing off~DE XIN

LIFE = ASSHOLE

I could understand her exploding when I accidentally passed a thoughtless comment but when I thought back at the incident and saw the magnitude of her explosion, I couldn't seem to find a reason as to why.

True, the thoughtless comment could have been thought through before blurted out but even so, a normal person wouldn't have had a reaction as big as hers. Thinking she was just being ridiculous, I tried my best to push that incident to the back of my head.

Later that night, she came back and told me a situation she'd went through, which was totally unrelated to what had happened earlier. But as I slowly digested the information she had fed me with, I suddenly came to realise why she had been so quick to anger; life had been shitting at her.

It's easy for people like, maybe, me, to push any shit life throws at me away before that shit starts to stink your whole life but what about loved ones? What do you do when they come crying at you about the shit life has been giving him/her? If only it was that easy to help that loved one push his/her shit away.

What could I do? I could only cry with her, hug her multiple times, offer her a listening ear, hoping that through all these she'll gain some strength in pushing her shit in her life away before it gets too smelly and start afresh.

signing off~DE XIN

CUTENESS!!!

超可愛BB - Roller Babies @ Yahoo! Video

THIS IS DAMN CUTE! LIKE HAMAHGOSH!

signing off~DE XIN

FIRSTS?

I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE OMGOSH! I can't upload photos 'cos I've reached my photo uploading quota :( but I'm still gonna blog! 'Cos these few days have been a real blast!



It started on Thursday night. There was a Secondary school slash Christmas countdown party at Kai Liang's place. I was kinda over-dressed but OH WELL I still enjoyed myself. Had some good food (that steak was really awesome) and good catch-up. I learnt dai dee too! Although, uh, I still get confused what's bigger.

We totally missed the countdown HAHA 'cos by the time the cake was out, it was 00:04am already LOL. Cake was good too. Ahhh it was really a great meet up. :D



Christmas day! I had so much fun giving out the brownies I baked (which were too sweet, damn). After service, I went home to start cooking for Christmas dinner! 'Cos my Godparents and my little baby Godsister were coming over for Christmas dinner!

It was a spread. Tuna, egg, mayo and cucumber on bread/cracker, pork ribs, apricot chicken, beef stew, chicken noodles soup, home made peanut butter chocoalte cups and fruits. All for only 5 adults! Not forgetting white wine :D



Christmas night. Nancy came over my place! We spent the last hour of Christmas playing mini monopoly. I lost very devastatingly. Very obviously, I'm not a business woman. At all. Then. My birthday came! I got my birthday present! A holga micro 110 camera!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I super love it! Seriously! I now have to go find for film.

Anyone know where to get holga films? For micro 110?

Then I was supposed to go to Parkway with Mummy at 11.30am to buy my birthday cake but I only woke up at 11.30am HAH and so I showered and started putting on my make up. The moment I was done with my mascara, there was a knock on my door. I thought it was my mum. Then another knock. So I thought it was my part time maid. Then a multiple series of knocks. Hmmm. Went to open my door and...

IT WAS Y2K! I was SERIOUSLY surprised! So Surprised I didn't know what to say! At all! I just started to tear, then, I just cried like nobody's business! Went down the stairs with them and GUESS WHAT! MCBIRTHDAY! AHAHAHAHAHA

There was happy meal for every single one! Including my parents! And Diana's pasta. IT WAS REALLY GOOD! Ah. My gosh. Then we had my cake. Chocolate cake! It was really good! Then we ran out of things to do LOL. We ended up playing heart attack, which stopped halfway because Alvin and the Chipmunks was on TV. Even people who thought they were irritating, fell in love with the movie!

Everyone slowly left. Kezia was the last 'cos she was going for a dinner at 7 so she chilled my place for a while. Oh and I got my present from them! A photographer who taeks photos of dancers in the pool. A book of his photo collections. A few....explicite photos but hey, the idea's still damn cool! And I love it!

After she left, my parents and I changed and went out for my birthday dinner at Vivocity. Crystal Jade! Peking duck! Some ginseng soup thingy, scallop in salty egg sauce, spinach with century, salted and normal eggs, char siew, and mee sua fried with the duck meat from the Peking duck. The three of us also shared mango pomelo sago with grass jelly. It was good! And when they found out it was my birthday (thanks to Mummy) they gave us complimentary mochis! Nice!



Ahh. I had an awesome birthday. Totally awesome. Many many thanks to all those who made it so awesome. Especially those who came to my place! Nancy! And Y2K! :D

signing off~DE XIN

CELINE DION - I'M YOUR ANGEL

No mountains too high, for you to climb
All you have to do is have some climbing faith, oh yeah
No rivers too wide, for you to make it across
All you have to do is believe it when you pray

And then you will see, the morning will come
And everyday will be bright as the sun
All of your fears cast them on me
I just want you to see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, i'm here
No matter how far you are, i'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I saw the teardrops, and i heard you cry
All you need is time, seek me and you shall find
You have everything and you're still lonely
It doesn't have to be this way, let me show you a better day

And then you will see, the morning will come
And all of your days will be bright as the sun
So all of your fears, just cast them on me
How can i make you see...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, i'm here
No matter how far you are, i'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

And when it's time to face the storm
I'll be right by your side
Grace will keep up safe and warm
And i know we will survive

And when it seems as if your end is drawing near
Don't you dare give up the fight
Just put your trust beyond the sky...

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, i'm here
No matter how far you are, i'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

I'll be your cloud up in the sky
I'll be your shoulder when you cry
I'll hear your voices when you call me
I am your angel
And when all hope is gone, i'm here
No matter how far you are, i'm near
It makes no difference who you are
I am your angel
I'm your angel

Was listening to some Christmas songs and this song fell into one of my collections. Very..heartwarming. When I heard the chorus I thought it was just but another love song till I actually went to look up on the lyrics and hey, it's a song from God's point of view.

Amazing. Amazin Love, He is.

signging off~DE XIN

HAMMIE, WHEN IT WAS STILL MINE

Was sorting out some photos and I chanced upon this one. Memories! The times I cursed and sweared at its slow pick-up (despite it being manual), small wheels (despite its height), colour (black is probably the worst colour to get in Perth due to all the DUST) and lightness (its metal shell was really thin).

Was a good 1 year and 4 months of drive, nonetheless. A great (as in, unforgettable) start in my driving experience.

SUBARU IMPREZA'S MORE OF MY KIND NOW!

signing off~DE XIN

WHAT'S ANOTHER YEAR

Being a spoilt brat during those younger days, it wasn't surprising if people in school hated me. Celebrating my birthday then would be out of the question.

When i got to Perth and met friends whom I thought were sincerely nice to me, my birthday was only celebrated once out of the 3.5 years. As if not enough, it felt like everyone, except the planner who was my best friend from Perth then, celebrated only for obligation.

It's been half a year since I got back from Perth and I've definitely had my good and bad times. The time of the year is around the corner but why is it that i feel no different from the past few years? That I'm only excited for Christmas and that I actually fear for my birthday? Is it cos of the many broken promises? Those "I promise I'll celebrate your birthday this year!" promises that were broken all to easily?

I have to admit my church friends here are probably a million times more loving and that they've shown genuine care and concern for me even when I wasn't around.

But they are not the ones I fear.

I fear for new broken promises. Promises made this year.

Don't promise me anything. What's another year without celebrations anyway? Am i not used to it already?

signingoff~DEXIN

PARENTS' WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

It was my parents' wedding anniversary exactly a week ago and my parents and I headed down toCapital Restaurant for dinner! Original plan was to celebrate the end of my exams (haha) but since their wedding anniversary was also near, we decided to just combine them and have it on their wedding anniversary.

:)

Some fortune bag I think. Nice!

Scallop! Whatever sauce they used, it was INSANELY good. Scallop was fresh too!

Shark's fin. I didn't touch it.

Pigeon!

Smallest wings I've ever eaten. It was nice and crispy and juicy. Roasted to perfection! Very interesting marinade.

Crab meat noodles. Mummy was going on and on about how awesome it was when she first ate it but when I ate it..hmm. Normal? Maybe the essence of it was in the soup but the taste was still. Normal. Not as great as I expected it to be. Portion was really small too.

Abolone, vegetables, mushroom, sea cucumber and some fish thingy (yu piao). Nice :)

HERE COMES THE STAR OF THE NIGHT!

Ohhhhmygoshhh. Love it love it love it. The first time I ate this thing (Shanghai Hairy Crabs) was in Shanghai with Nancy at my neighbour's dad's apartment in Shanghai. The ones I ate in Shanghai was obviously 10 times better in terms of freshness and juiciness and amount of eggs. But this is probably the best hairy crab you can get in Singapore. Probably.

Dessert! Glutinous rice balls in ginger soup. The ginger soup was shiokness. Enough ginger to make me go "AHHHH".

After dinner, we walked back to...one of the buildings in Chinatown haha I don't know the name =_=. I wanted to have dessert at the stall I always go to but it was closed so we went to the one beside it instead.
Daddy's sesame paste. I didn't try.

Mummy's durian chendol. Durian was screamingly fresh!

My yam paste. Adding sweet corn was..weird. But other than that, it was ok. Smooth enough and it has the minimal fragrance to make it nice.

Won't go back to that dessert stall again.

Life's much less busy now. Catching up with rest but can't really stand being so..stationary? Went to jog yesterday. Felt good. Didn't jog long, more of a circuit thingy.

So long!

signing off~DE XIN

GLAD YOU'RE GONE

Since you've been gone I've lost a chip on my shoulder,
Since you've gone I feel like I've gotten older,
And now you've gone it feels like as if the whole wide world is my stage
And now you've gone it's like I've been let out of my cage.

There's nothing cool about you at all.
I've got a life ahead of me.

signing off~DE XIN

HAPPILY BUSY, BUSILY HAPPY

If you've been wondering why I haven't been blogging, the video below is the reason why.



It's tiring, boring (when we have to wait for hours for certain stuff), frustrating (when people don't cooperate) BUT as a whole it's really fun. Even though we stay in school till around 10pm in the night and come back to school again at around 8.30am in the morning, I can say I somehow still enjoy it 'cos we get to spend so much time with each other. We as in we from across Dance, Music and Theatre.

Please do come down and show us your support. This production is FREE and OPEN to the public 'cos its OUTDOORS but if you really want a seat (instead of jumping around with us), you can always let me know and I'll reserve tickets (which are also FREE) for you.

Thanks!

signing off~DE XIN

TEDDY BEAR

You ask me why I don't blog about you but actually I do.

Just not here. ;)

signing off~DE XIN

LITTLE PRINCESS' 1ST BIRTHDAY

Last Sunday a few of us in my mother's side of the family met up at Germaine's cafe to celebrate Baby Christine's first birthday.The food.

Someone's busy eating!

Aaah cuteness.

She kept crying when her mother's not in sight!!

Too damn cute, I swear. She was at my place just last night and she kept staring at me. I didn't really wanna play with her 'cos I was all sweaty and smelly and tired so I just entertained her from afar.



This aside. School? As usual except I feel more loved every day :). More often than not you'll find me smiling myself silly while using my phone. I've never been this excited to go to school everyday. LASALLE's awesome enough to start with, it has now gotten even better.

Go figure!

signing off~DE XIN

IN SUMMARY

SUPER tired :(

Stronger =/

MUCH happier :)

signing off~DE XIN

LASALLE SO FAR

Finally blogger is back to normal. So here I am blogging about school!

This is who we are from the dance class.

Week 4:

There's this thing between me and Aisyah. Like. Mountains. And. Chickens.

Before my arms got way bigger. Miss those tender arms.

I LOVE THIS JACKET!

Charmain and I =)

Week 5:

Before lunch time concert where almost everyone slept. Me included.

Charms and I again, before the photoshoot (first picture).

Lovely sky huh.

A few of us at Harry's bar. Met some of my secondary school friends there too.

Week 7:

AHAHA. Love this.

Some of the less-seen-in-photos people.

HAH!

Love this too.


On Friday, after watching a play, a few of us went for supper. We were already super duper uber full but I just HAD to get the yam paste dessert.
Tahdah. We almost finished it. ^^

Really love this school. Surrounded by really awesome people. Taught by almost-awesome lecturers. AHAHA.

signing off~DE XIN